That Floating Poo Was Far Too Symbolic! It's the Television Letdowns of the Past Year.

Looking back, we reflect on the TV offerings of the recent year, a selection of shows stand out not for their brilliance, but for their spectacular shortcomings. Ranging from awkward sequels to confusingly bad docuseries, here are the programmes that had us scratching our heads or just reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

How to start with this love/hate follow-up? Plagued with woeful writing, cringe-inducing arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series fought to find its footing. Briefly, as the third series began, it looked like it had at last hit its stride. Then arrived an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the creator announced this would be the last season. It concluded on a bum note; the lingering shot of Miranda’s loo flooded with poo was simply too on-the-nose. Still, fans undeniably had a hoot dissecting every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – twirled around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a small sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was almost the smallest of this drama's issues. The subject of a very rare no-star review, it was difficult to know where to begin listing the problems. The hilariously wooden dialogue? The tedious glorification of affluence and consumption? The seemingly deliberate procession of cliches? Acting so poor they felt almost spiteful? Suffice it to say “each and every one” and forget about this show again. However, a second season has been ordered, so we’re likely going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Considering the restraining orders, abuse allegations and fatherly failures, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that you’d really have gleaned it from this three-part docuseries which smirked its way at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless excess while struggling to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being indulged, so any pity this series might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charismatic but flippant egotist.

The Iris Affair

Naturally we understood it was ridiculous from the outset: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or annihilate all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely reacted when his character died, and the other ultimately slicing Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call admitting defeat.

The Gangster Drama

Dodgy characters meeting in empty boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back.

Actually, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many seem a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the embarrassment of having to accommodate baffling dialects. But there were many other issues. Mainly that it was just really dull; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various cockney picaresques which seemed rather simplistic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Given the extent to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s performatively enraged commentators, it’s almost tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various ventures into quaint homemaking as deliberate statements. But then you view them and are compelled to admit that actually, they may have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle catalogue animated; a poster for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, sentimental platitudes and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll not remember instantly. All underpinned by vast, mostly undeserved wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are clearly fascinating things to be discussed about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, identity, self-acceptance. But for some reason, this documentary series chose not to say them. Rather, the viewing was like reading a sales brochure. She obviously has every right to bridle at what she describes as her “stern” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any favours with this guarded non-event of a series.

The Game Show

It had the potential to be the next cultural phenomenon – except even more extravagant, with a famous star playing dead and a well-known personality overseeing her inheritance. What more could you want? As players competed, there was plenty of betrayal and squabbling. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s still too confusing to explain what exactly was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up reeking of a production that was trying way too hard to live up to something way beyond it.

Too Much

How does one follow a show that captured a generation? The expectation was enormous for this glitzy romcom about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who arrives in London with a shattered romance. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, reveling in Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of celebrity friends involved felt uncomfortable.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the shrewd inclusion of talented emerging comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a single joke milked to a dry pulp but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a familiar irate mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply inspired the idea that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The subject matter needed to be treated with care. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lurching from strangely breezy, slightly stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Twisted? Perhaps. A complete mess? Very much so.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We admire the lead actor … but did we believe him playing the most brilliant maths genius since, a man so intelligent he’s on the brink of a discovery that could destabilise society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about government agencies targeting – and eliminating – academics frankly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This hagiography followed the content creator renowned for explicit exploits as she undertook her biggest feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we wanted was way more interrogation of her true psychology, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have spoken to the legendary mum who appeared to drag her son away from the queue. What we got was horrific shots and zero interrogation of her infamy whatsoever. And to think, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.